Posts

Go Fast or Go Far?

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There’s a saying, “If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together.” Most people knew that I bought a car with my own money, and will be paying the monthly installments by myself. Being able to buy my first car was the first big milestone in my life. There were many reasons that led to this day, but the main root was that I could not stand being poor anymore. I’m not saying that I’m from a poor family, and I didn’t say I was born in the purple as well, but that I myself, my own bank account was nearly empty, and it was always like that.  Some people asked, “Don’t your parents give your pocket money?”  They did, but not monthly, probably once in every three months when I really had no money til I had to ask from them. Of course, they gave willingly. I don’t know about you, but the older I am, it becomes very hard to ask money from my parents, there’s a sense of guilt. Yes, it is their responsibility to provide me, but my parents have retired, I feel
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Promises.

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I'm a person who takes promises seriously, that I will always keep the promises I made to people, because I really don't like it when people break promises. I used to be extremely mindful of people who break their promises to me. I would be extremely angry and sad at the same time, perhaps that was disappointment.  However, as I grow up and experience more things in life, I became not that mindful about people breaking their promises anymore. Perhaps it's because many people have broken or forgotten their promises to me, and I realised that promises have become a little bit meaningless.  Don't make promises when you're happy; Don't make decisions when you're angry.  Nowadays when someone make a promise to me, I would just listen, smile and nod. I would not have high expectations as I did in the past anymore, because the feeling is like falling from the cliff of a mountain when someone breaks the promise.  My mindset is this now: If that perso
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Relearning to love.

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Have you guys ever done something for such a long period of time until you guys didn't know how to continue doing it? Or maybe that you haven't done something for such a long period of time and it makes you don't even know how to do it anymore. I just came back from Johor Bahru, meeting my family for 6 days. Before the trip, I knew that I needed a short getaway to wherever it could be, as long as it's with my family. Perhaps it's because that I could rarely go home nowadays as I'm from Sarawak and am studying in West Malaysia; and that I've been getting along with my friends so much and there's so little opportunities for me to reunite with my family except during the Chinese New Year. Yes, I love my friends sincerely and I feel loved by many of my friends too, but I felt that I needed to feel the truest and purest form of love again which I haven't been able to do so since a long time ago because ever since my elder sisters went to s
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People.

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I'm blessed to be surrounded by people who love me. My family and my friends are well with me and that's something I'm really grateful for.  This post is dedicated to some of the people around me who always warm my heart a little. Of course, there are many other people as well, but these people are ones whom I've been interacting with recently.  My mom.  She has always been my best supporter and lover. I'm actually having my 2 weeks term break currently but I'm not going back to Miri as my next continuous assessment is approaching.  She texted me 1 week ago asking when I would be going back home and I said I didn't buy any air tickets. I told her I would be having a 2 weeks holiday, & she told me that she'd discuss with my elder sisters and would probably have a trip to JB/Singapore. A few days later she asked me to book air tickets and I did. This was what she told me upon asking me to buy the air tickets. My heart immediately melt
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Come and Go.

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We experience a lot of "come and go" in life isn't it? This applies especially to the people in our lives. It can be applied to our friends, that as we grow up, it becomes harder to gather everyone at the same place again; even if we're able to gather together, we have to face partings of them one by one.There are people who walked into our lives, left some footprints, be it beautiful or not, then walked out of our lives. It may be confusing and frustrating that the people whom we hoped to stay, left us. But it's not their fault, because everyone has the right to choose to either stay or leave. We can't expect everyone to appreciate our kindness, because everyone speaks and listens to different love languages. " Many don't appreciate you, until they see someone else appreciating you. "  Many times, people tend to keep a part of their hearts for themselves, maybe it's due to their past relationships' trauma, but one shoul
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Taking a break

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Have you guys ever felt so tired, exhausted and worn out at times? Because I myself experience such exhaustion at times. It's not an emotional breakdown, it's just feeling tired, insecure but not sure what it's about. It happens once in a blue moon and lasts for that particular day or night, then everything would eventually returns back to normal on the next day. Many may think that I've always lived a happy and smooth life. Honestly, I consider myself very blessed with everything I have; the people around me really makes me feel loved. And yes, I'm happy, always! 😂 However, there are just days like this, like now, it's not that I don't feel happy, but I just feel tired. Perhaps a little hug would be good :') Sometimes things do not happen the way we want them to be, but I'm sure that God has a perfect plan for me, and that He will lead me through everything. I always pray for the future, submitting to God on what He has for me, be
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Taking responsibilities

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Finally, my exams have come to a halt. It had been a month of studying and sitting for the exam. It was the worst studying month in my life because the amount of things that were required to be memorised was so plentiful and even though there were ups and downs during the exam week, I'm grateful that I've gotten through it. No matter what results I get, I know that I've done my best and what's done is done 😋 Throughout the stressful period, I realised that God always surrounds me with so much grace. I received texts of encouragement and food from the people around me, there's people who sent me very well-needed bible verses when I was very down, and there were people who studied with me throughout the exam week. All these people reminded me that the world is filled with lots of love, and I'm really grateful for each and every single one of them 😘 Above are Nicholas and Lester. They're the ones, especially Nicholas, who have been studying wi
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